he thought i was a dude.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
