If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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