She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
