weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
