do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
