my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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