Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize