you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
