people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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