You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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