you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
