Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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