im having a threesome with these popsicles
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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