ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
