this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
