You're completely useless in the revolution.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
