Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
