fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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