Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
