Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
