I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
