sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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