If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
