she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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