I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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