I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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