I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
