It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
