neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
