is your mom at the bar?
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
