I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
