You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
