look no pants
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
