You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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