I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
