21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
