I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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