Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
