I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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