Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
