hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
