So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
