I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
