You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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