do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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