Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
