swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
