fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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