There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this will be a night to untag.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
