Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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